Witty Quotes

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The Witty Quotes that are about to follow are some of our favorites selected from around the world and from a great number of famous and not so famous people. We hope you enjoy them and perhaps even adopt a few to use yourself, facebook sewms to be a very a popular social networking site that many are used on today. Please note we also have a Witty sayings category that you may find useful. Any way onto the quotes…

“A critic is a legless man who teaches running”
Channing Pollock

“With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”
Jay Leno

“It is quite difficult to feel that I am placed somewhere between Alan Bennett and the Queen Mother, a sort of public kitten. ”
Stephen Fry quotes

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork”
Mae West

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it”
Moses Hadas

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it”
Groucho Marx

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends”
Oscar Wilde

“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit”
Shakespeare

“The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail”
Stephen Fry Quotes

“He’s so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund”
Muhammad Ali commenting on Joe Frazier

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with”
W C Fields

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends”
Oscar Wilde

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire”
Winston Churchill

“Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon”
Abbey Hoffman

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here”
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator”
John Bright

“When Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize, what is there left for satire?”
Tom Lehrer on Henry Kissinger

“Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?”
Don Rickles

“I sometimes wonder if you Americans aren`t often fooled by our accent into detecting a brilliance that may not really be there. ”
Stephen Fry quotes

“Breasts like Granite and a brain like Swiss Cheese”
Billy Wilder commenting on Marilyn Monroe

“The thief of bad gags”
Walter Winchell on Milton Berne

“I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born”
Ronald Reagan

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx

“The average person thinks he isn’t”
Father Larry Lorenzoni

“The only genius with an IQ of 60″
Gore Vidal referring to Andy Warhol

“She’s so stupid she returns bowling balls because they’ve got holes in them”
Joan Rivers on Bo Derek

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer”
Douglas Adams

“The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made”
Jean Giraudoux

“Shaw writes his plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve”
George Nathan talking about George Bernard Shaw

“He is to acting what Liberace was to pumping iron”
Rex Reed commenting on Sylvester Stallone

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know”
Abraham Lincoln

“On being gay: “My first words, as I was being born… I looked up at my mother and said, `that`s the last time I`m going up one of those.`”
Stephen Fry Quotes

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow

“He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker”
S J Perelman

“Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back”
Unknown

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Abraham Lincoln

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Posted December 28, 2008 by admin under Witty Quotes

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